Domestic Violence Myths

• Only a small percentage of the population is affected by domestic violence.  FACT: Violence occurs at least once in 2/3 of all marriages and in over 90% of those cases, women are the victims.  3-4 million women a year are battered by their husbands and boyfriends.  A woman is battered every 9-12 seconds.
• Battered women are usually poor, uneducated and have few job skills.  FACT: Domestic violence does not discriminate among race, class, age or educational levels.
• Drinking causes violent behavior.  FACT: Many batterers also abuse alcohol and a violent situation may escalate with drinking, but the alcohol DOES NOT CAUSE the violence. Drunkenness is no excuse for violence.
• A battered partner can always leave the home: “if it’s so bad, why doesn’t she just leave?”  FACT: Economic and emotional dependency, children and threats all make it difficult to leave a violent relationship. Instead of asking why she doesn’t leave, why not ask why he doesn’t stop the battering.  Approximately 50% of homeless women and children are fleeing an abusive relationship.
• People who abuse their partners rarely abuse their children and children who merely witness the abuse are not adversely affected.  FACT: More than 3 million children witness acts of domestic violence every year.  Children who witness battering are 6 times more likely to attempt suicide and 50% more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol. In 60% of violent homes, the children are beaten as well.  81% of abusers were abused as children or witnessed abuse at home.
• Most women who are able to leave a violent relationship will not return to it.  FACT: Victims leave an abusive relationship an average of 7 times before they leave for good, but 60-70% of battered women do get out eventually.  
• The victim is responsible for the abuse because she “provokes” the batterer.  FACT: A batterer is responsible for his own action.  He has many options for  dealing with his anger.  
• Battering incidents do not increase in severity over time.  FACT: Battering tends to worsen from beating to beating. Many of the injuries sustained by the battered woman require medical attention.  Domestic violence causes almost 100,000 days of hospitalization, 30,000 days of emergency room visits and 40,000 trips to the doctor every year.  
• Men are more likely to help a woman being attacked by a man than to help a man being attacked by another man.  FACT: Men are more likely to intervene in a fight between two men than in a fight between a woman and a man.  Most people believe that domestic violence is a “private affair” and none of anyone else’s business. 
• A woman cannot be raped by her husband.   FACT: Marital rape is the most under reported crime. Twice as many women have been raped by their husbands than by strangers.  It is estimated that 20-30% of all women who are battered are also routinely raped as a part of the general pattern of abuse.  In many states, it is legal for a man to rape his wife.  
• It is uncommon for a husband to batter his wife during her pregnancy.   FACT: 25% battered women are physically abused during pregnancy.