Abuse in LGBTQ Relationships

Only 1 in 5 LGBTQ victims of intimate partner violence or sexual assault get help from service providers. Many LGBTQ survivors do not feel that support services are available to them even if they do exist.

National Center for Victims of Crime and National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs, “Why It Matters: Rethinking Victim Assistance for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer Victims of Hate Violence and Intimate Partner Violence,” March 2010 (6)

LGBTQ youth are at a higher risk of dating violence than their straight peers. LGBTQ youth report a 30% incidence of dating violence compared to 9% rate for heterosexual students.

Mass. Dept. of Education (2004), “2003 Youth Risk Behavior Survey Results.

There has yet to be a fully comprehensive study of LGBTQ domestic violence, but many studies show that somewhere between 20%-35% of LGBTQ relationships include abuse, depending on the definition of domestic violence used.* This is the same rate as seen in heterosexual relationships. The prevalence of abuse for people who identify as transgender or intersex is likely much higher.

 Lundy, S. 'Abuse That Dare Not Speak Its Name: Assisting Victims of Lesbian and Gay Domestic Violence in Massachusetts', (Winter 1993) 28 New England Law Review 273.

Survivor Project, “Gender, Violence, and Resource Access Survey,” 1998.

FAQs

Q: Is domestic violence in LGBTQ relationships the same as other domestic violence?

A: In some ways it is. The dynamics of abuse have similarities in all types of relationships. Partners may be jealous or controlling; they may use physical violence or be emotionally abusive.  And the decision to leave may be tough for anyone. The rates of abuse are also the same—about ¼ of all people in relationships experience abuse. But there are also some very important differences. One main difference is the lack of support available to LGBTQ people who may be experiencing domestic violence. There are very few shelters that provide services specifically for LGBTQ survivors. Another big difference is having to “out” yourself to actually report the domestic violence. Sometimes, LGBTQ folks may be afraid that if they tell someone their sexual orientation or gender identity, they may not be able to get support. This all means LGBTQ people have added problems when trying to get help. Another difference is that people talk about domestic violence against straight women on TV, in movies, and in our families. LGBTQ communities often do not talk about domestic violence and deny that it is going on within them.

Q: Do I need to lie about my sexual orientation or gender identity to get help?

A: No one should have to lie about who they are in order to get help. Tu Casa is here to help you - Contact Us.

Q: Doesn’t domestic violence usually only occur among certain groups of people (not my own)?

A: Violence and abuse are found in all queer communities as well as straight communities. No group, regardless of race, class, ethnicity, gender, gender identity, age, ability, education, politics, religion or lifestyle, is free from domestic violence. Being abusive is not determined by size, strength, or economic status. Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer people who batter or abuse can be friendly, physically unintimidating, sociable and charming. Likewise, survivors across the spectrum are strong, capable and dynamic.