Warning Signs of Domestic Violence

People often wonder if there are signs that might warn about potential violence in a relationship.  The following is adapted from the National Technical Assistance Center of Family Violence.

1. Did your partner grow up in a violent family?  Some people who grew up with violence may use it when faced with problems.
2. Does your partner tend to use force to “solve” problems?  Does he have a quick temper? 
3. Does your partner punch walls or things when upset Is your partner cruel to animals?
4. Does your partner have a poor self-image that he tries to cover up by being tough?
5. Does your partner have strong old-fashioned beliefs about the roles of men and women?
6. Is your partner jealous of you, your other friends and family?  Does your partner keeps tabs on you?  Does he frequently accuse you of cheating? 
7. When your partner is angry, do you feel afraid of him?  Do you find that trying not to make him angry is a major part of your life?
8. Does your partner treat you roughly or physically force you to do what you don’t want to do; such as keeping you from walking away from an argument?
9. Does your partner play with guns or other weapons?  Does he talk about using them against people to “get even?”
10. Does your partner experience extreme highs and lows?  Is your partner really kind at one time and really cruel at others?  Often, he can have an unpredictable and confusing personality.
11. Does your partner blame others for his actions?  Often he does not believe that his violent actions should have negative consequences.  He has no awareness of, or guilt for, violating his wife’s/girlfriend’s boundaries.
12. ABUSE DURING DATING IS A GUARANTEE OF ABUSE LATER, DO NOT THINK THAT MARRIAGE OR LIVING TOGETHER WILL CHANGE YOUR PARTNER.  IF YOUR PARTNER DOES ABUSE YOU, YOU ARE ALREADY A BATTERED WOMAN!!

Not sure if you are in an abusive relationship? Take this quick quiz and find out.